I am a soul returning close to the single authentic source threading the path of mysticism in the occurrence of a combined peace, joy, compassion or love. My agony between competing forces of light and dark, and positive marked division between the material kingdom, the administration of evil forces, and the higher spiritual kingdom from which it is divided. My words may seem to confuse and unclear, at the same time over-simplified and full of subtle meanings hidden from the naive.

My words are very easy to know, and easy to practice; but there is none in the world who can recognize and capable of practice them.
A dimensional fluctuation amid one construction of reality to another. I am crossed a path by sin, shame, remorse.
Repentance, awareness of lower-self attachments and dervishes giving up the thoughts and behaviors is now the necessity for reinstating unity and grace.
Mortification and dejection, defamation and allegation, abundant lives breathed, none could grasp me and in this way my voyage demands further obligation.
My ancestry and individuality is of free spirit. I question if this is a joy. The joy is of mankind shuns and Almighty embraces. That is the joy in the departure from the material release. (2009)


"Religious truth is the inner meaning of the law revealed in the heart of the Sufi by the Divine Light."

In terms of the Ultimate Reality or Truth, I have now come to reject the very basis of "manifestation" and in doing so all systems of thought and knowledge in reference to it is invalid

According to my experience there is nothing to understand about enlightenment as enlightenment is the way of enlightenment itself.

The subject of enlightenment – or anything else – did not interest me all my life ………….. My life-story can be separated into the three catastrophe parts. The first part of my life with Human experience. The second part of my life experienced a Bodily experience with a discontinuity from my human life with the ongoing bodily experience – though not absence – of thought. But I lost all connectivity with the acquired knowledge and memories, and I was made to re-learn everything, as if the slate had been wiped clean.

A series of events at a fast pace began teaching lessons with practical experience of life. It's such a painful thing. Every time it is new experience — very strange — every time it comes in a different way, so you don't know what is happening. The third part of my life experienced a discontinuity from the first and the second part where I have no teaching and nothing to preserve. Since Teaching involves something that can be used to bring about a change into the disjointed, disconnected.

I am forced by the nature to always negate the first statement with another statement. Then the second statement is negated by a third and so on. The total negation of everything finally can be expressed as an interpretation, nothing else. For this neither reason there is not now nor will there ever be any kind of saying which I have claims… Infact nothing to claim… Now or Ever

2006: – It all began while I was working in Dubai, UAE. One fine day I experienced a strange experience. After a extended days work as I went back home and lay on my bed… suddenly I felt my BODY as if electrified, with EXCRUTIATING pains all over the body , which was piercing my very breath. I turned around and in a fraction of second I could see as if I was lying on a bed of THORNS . I jumped out, look — then I'd go back assuming it was my thoughts and nothing wrong — then again.... The whole thing was changing in its own way without my doing anything. And it went on and on for six months. Firstly I knew there was something that was not right. I thought either I was possessed or lost my mental balance. When both these were ruled out by the professionals I visited , I suspected some foul play by the help in the house or some kind of a play by some harmful sources. I ruled out every possibility with prompt action yet nothing changed.
I visited the doctor; I called for the priest from the closely Mosque to pray and also call for a priest from the temple to pray... However nothing worked and I finally came back to India on a short visit and it all subsided and forgotten.

2007 January: – After this incident I decided to come back to Bangalore, India. However upon landing there was an unexpected urge to immediately go to a Shrine located in North India although I was never a seeker of enlightenment.

Three trips to the heart of India……..And barely 5 minutes at the shrine and never knew why I was there since it was not my idea of a holiday or a tour. Each time I went back dissatisfied without understanding why was I there …. The third time, I promised myself I would never come back on these Trips as it was not me.

2007 – 2008:- Towards the end of 2007 and beginning of 2008 one fine morning I woke up and there was an unexpected physical, as well as psychological, reaction. It seemed like "a sudden 'explosion' inside, blasting, as it were, every cell, every nerve and every gland in my body experiencing a series of bizarre physiological transformations affecting each one of my senses, suddenly there was an outburst of tremendous energy – tremendous energy shaking my whole body, – vibrating from within . You can't create that movement at all. It was sudden. It was coming from inside, from below or above, I don't know – it was all over. It lasted for days and months. I couldn't bear it but there was nothing I could do to stop it; there was a total helplessness. This went on and on, day after day, month after month, year after year and finally resulting in a deathlike experience.

My family strongly felt I was possessed or some black magic was performed on me. Every priest ever known was called to help me. But nothing could help. I had very strong Clairvoyant Visions and could see the past, present and the future unfolding. However I did not know how to handle the visions. I was scared of the situation. I visited Doctors yet nothing worked. Everything happened at a pace that everything that I tried to stop the situation lagged behind. I became helpless to the ongoing. I prayed to send me some help. An opening came in the form of a kind hearted soul called Len Leaper, a Spiritualist who lived in United Kingdom. I wrote to him my situation and seeked help. Thou I never knew if I could get a reply from Len as why he would trust me. Who was I? He never knew of me. I was a stranger writing to him to help me if my problem was real and if he believed me. However as it all happened he became my confidante. I knew I was going thru a spiritual awakening. Later I met another Psychiatrist who referee me to a Holistic healer and it was confirmed that it was a Spiritual awakening and I must not revolt rather accept the fact. This was too shocking to me as this is not something which I ever longed in my life. Yet it was hard t believe at times as I was never a deep religious person.

If anyone thinks this is something fantastic, blissful and full of beatitude, love, or ecstasy, this is physical torture; this is a catastrophe to me but a catastrophe to those who have an image that something marvelous is going to happen.

The energy that is operating does not feel the limitations of the body; it is not interested; it has its own momentum. It is a very painful thing. It is not that ecstatic, blissful beatitude and all that nonsense! – It is really a painful thing. It is like a nuclear explosion, you see piercing and blasting every nerve — it shatters the whole body. It is not an easy thing; it is the end — such a shattering thing that it blasts every cell, every nerve in the body. I went through terrible physical torture for almost 30 months at that moment. Its very difficult to explain the experience the 'explosion' — but it's after-effects, the 'fall-out', is the thing that changes the whole chemistry of your body.

This had nothing to do with my upbringing rather as a matter of fact however I could not possibly, in any way, tell that experience to anybody …As other than my mother not another understood my agony and pain.

I was guided to practicing meditation, studying psychology, philosophy, mysticism, and the sciences, but never , having the answers of the essential questions to my encounter – Tears rolling down my cheeks as they were often uncompromising, direct style of presentation, generated within me with a sharply-divided opinions. The newly expounded philosophy continued appearing my discussions and interviews or in various websites. However within me I was fighting the experience and reluctant to walk with the ongoing.

My health and diet preferences gradually changed to strictly vegetarian. Then came this period where I travelled to all the religious places, Holy Shrines, temple, Church, Gurudwara trying to understand. Yet I was the only medium through which I could express myself and understand.
During the same period I was made to practice all kinds of austerities and apparently sought spiritual enlightenment. To that end I undertook all kinds of spiritual exercise, to achieve that state, as part of this "realization".

It emphasized the impossibility and non-necessity of these assertions, considered as a "teaching", that is, something intended to be used to bring about a change. The existence of an individual mind accepted the concept of the totality of man's knowledge and experience. In the experience the thought realm or thought sphere acts like an antenna, picking and choosing thoughts according to its needs. I held all experience to be the result of this process of consciousness born out of the need to give continuity through the constant exploitation of thought.

In its state, I understood that the senses of the body take on independent existences (uncoordinated by any "inner self") and the ductless glands become reactivated. That takes over the functioning of the body as opposed to thought. You understand things around you by the help of the knowledge that was put in you. You perhaps don't need anybody's help to understand or deal with your energy. The articulation of insights did not begin with any efforts to bring about spiritual enlightenment, "The so called self-realization is the discovery for you and by you that there is no self to discover. All kinds of things happened to me — I went through the physical pain which was unbearable — I wish I could give you a glimpse of it, — then you wouldn't want to touch this at all. The energy has a peculiar operation of its own.

25th October 2009: - My marriage which I considered to be spiritual had been a largely unhappy affair, and by that time I described myself as being "detached" from family, emotionally as well as physically. I left all hopes of any reconciliation, thou I fought the situation and wanted to save my crumbling marriage. My husband succumbed to the negative forces which were bent upon corrupting my relationship. I fought against the incident and tried everything to save the state However the negative force was accordingly over powering my husband’s thought that I saw that he swept away from my life and during which time I almost died. The psyche or self or mind, an entity denied the "demand" to surrender in itself, or in both. Finally I knew my effort to save the human experience by sidelining the bodily experience my life was crashing with the divider. Ultimately I began to accept and surrender to the life-altering series of bodily experiences which I have been going thru the years. My recent marital troubles were thus put to an end. At the extremes, some people considered me enlightened while others considered me nothing more than a fake and some considered me to be mentally sick. The man I thought would understand the most failed to understand me and became a prisoner of the pessimistic source. During this time my family too left me and my only source of support was my mother and my spiritual friend and confidante Len Leaper. My mother believed in everything that she witnessed during this time and Len believed in everything that happened to me. These were the two strong guiding forces that never let me down and stood by me thru out the experience. Not once ridiculing me or doubting on my mental state. Although every force tried to deter them against me.

Thus I surrendered myself completely to the bodily experience then my real search began. Once I surrendered the mind and its actions attempted to change or mould the body. The peace and the harmony that was absent within became a movement, characterized by its own importance and the struggle to survive by the constant human experience and the bodily experience blasting the cells in the marrow of my bones. When the movement in the direction is not of yourself anymore than you are in conflict with yourself.


In this I was forced by the nature to always negate the first account with another account. Then the second account is negated by a third and so on. Thus the total negation of everything that can be expressed. Every experience was new so was the people I met, or connected at that time, yet in a way disconnected. Each one came during the phase of the event and moved away and I would swift to a new opening. I walked and never looked back.

Thou all my religious background were there in me. Yet I started exploring. For some years I studied psychology , Religion , Scriptures and also philosophy, mysticism, all the modern sciences — everything, the whole area of human knowledge, I started exploring. The search went on and on and on, and I saw that all this knowledge unfortunately, were not something real. Anybody who has brains can gather information and understand.

June 2010:- It began with a dialogue in Srinagar, Kashmir which spoke of a Movement will soon begin from Kashmir thou I was completely unaware of any such movement. My words and action was not one that was in my control rather I was demanded by the nature to speak in a manner which was never a part of me.

21st October 2010:- The foundation laid for a Sufi festival. As I planned for the event for the following year much to my amazement there was a lot of opposition however I simply followed the senses that were the guiding force. I had no control on any of the decision that I was making. Amid the confusion and the contrasting factors with coercion and cruelty I decided to do as I was demanded by nature.

21st October 2011:- The first ISFI Festival was launched. Thou there was a lot of negative sources trying their best to stop me, the foundation was successfully laid in the city which was the heart of India. A seven day festive went on however I did not know the reason behind the entire festive. I was simply playing to the demand of the understanding.

3-11th October 2012:- The second festival took place. This time there was acceptance and support. Yet on the concluding day much to my amazement without my control I blurted out “Finally I have completed my task. I have now completed the task that was assigned to me”. The onlookers were surprised with this statement and questioned if the festival was on, the following year and what I meant with my sentence. I was myself taken aback with what I blurted and did not have an answer to my words as these were not my sentence. It was the experience which made the wrapping up. Thou the following year I tried my best to continue the same festive however every attempt of mine was overlapped and the experience negated it strongly leaving no room for me to decide any human experience on my own. All plans for the following year failed miserably thou I tried to fight against the force that was the deciding factor of all my actions.

21st October 2013: - When this continuity was broken, its hold on the body thru the spine acting as the bridge is broken and the body falls into the absence of continuity, the arising thoughts and experience comes as a shattering blow. It hits you like a thunderbolt. You have invested everything in , self-realization and , in the end, suddenly you discover that the body has given way with another blow where the spine acting as that connecting bridge has collapsed and the nerve signals are not received by the brains and no self to discover, no self to realize . You lose all hopes as if you are now experiencing a second death and once more you pick the threads of discontinuity and follow the bodily experience. You once again learn the lessons as thou the slate is wiped clean, all lessons and understanding about God, Buddha, Jesus, Mohammed etc negated and you are born again as a new born baby learning to accept the new environment and begin to once more learn each step of existence.

Consciousness flushed out and purged by itself of every trace of holiness, ungodliness, everything what you consider 'sacred and holy' is a contamination in that consciousness. It is not through any choice of yours; when once the frontiers are broken — not through any effort of yours, not through any choice of yours — then the floodgates are open and everything goes out. In that process of flushing out, you have all these visions. It's not a vision outside there or inside of you; its the whole consciousness ,that takes the shape of this state; — it is very strange —
Two weeks later you assemble and begin new lessons where the Brain cells once more begin to connect like a miracle and accept the signals of the nerves thou measured and gradually back to normal. Once again it’s a new life and a new beginning with all experience and learning’s of the past negated to begin the new wisdom.

This happens to one in a billion, and it is not something that one is specially prepared for. There are no purificatory methods necessary; there is no any prayers, zikr or sadhana necessary for this kind of a thing to happen — no preparation of any kind. The consciousness is so pure that whatever you are doing in the direction of purifying that consciousness is adding impurity to it.

The reason people came to me was to find solutions for their everyday real problems, and/or for solutions to a fabricated problem, namely, the search for spirituality and enlightenment. Their search for enlightenment is caused by the cultural environment, which demands agreement of individuals as it simultaneously places within them the desire to be special – the achievement of enlightenment thus crowning it as an expression of an individual’s uniqueness. Consequently, the desire for enlightenment is exploited by gurus, spiritual teachers, and other "sellers, who pretend to offer various ways to reach that goal. Unfortunately all these facilitators never deliver, and cannot ever deliver, since the goal itself was unreachable.

The experience overturns all of our accepted beliefs -- God, mind, soul, enlightenment, religion, humanity, heart, love, and relationships -- and gives us a totally different picture of who we are. The result is a revolution of the brain. I had nothing to offer to anyone. There were no gatherings, no lectures, and no courses to offer, no method, no mantras, no office, no secretary, and no fixed address. I felt I am everywhere and nowhere. I am not here to convince, convert, win over or influence anyone. I have no awe for money, power, position, or prestige. Neither do I follow any guru. I am ready to accept the fact that a complete and total 'surrender' was a state of hopelessness at that point which was clear that there is no way out.... Any movement in any direction, on any dimension, at any level, was taking me away from self....I never wore any special robe to present myself as someone unique. I was myself with the people walking along with the rest. I did not position myself as a spiritual leader to gain monetary gain for myself from any. Thou at times the people who came to me to seek help misunderstood. Perhaps the conflict of the two forces created the thought. As to me there was no truth in anything that existed. Despite all that, whatever happened to me has happened. It seems the reason why I emphasize without a shadow of doubt, that whatever has happened to me can happen to an any ordinary human and one need not be a spiritual leader and seer as one who pretends to be such is nothing but a conman and conned every one of us.


‘I have crossed the bridge thou the conduit gave way and I was sinking. Yet I gathered enough nerve thou lynching on one end yet cope to reach the other side’

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Sai Baba of Shirdi

Sai Baba of Shirdi (1830's – October 15, 1918), also known as Shirdi
Sai Baba (Marathi: शिर्डी साई बाबा), was an Indian guru, yogi and
fakirwho is regarded by his Hindu and Muslim devotees as a saint. Some
Hindu followers have recently claimed that he was an incarnation
ofShiva or Dattatreya, which has helped them to accommodate him in
traditional Hindu worship. Many devotees believe that he was a
Sadguru. There are many stories and eyewitness accounts of miracles he
performed. He is a well-known figure in many parts of the world, but
especially in India, where he is much revered.

The name 'Sai Baba' is a believed to be a combination of Persian and
Indian origin but the fact is thatSāī is name from Indian origin
meaning "Sakshat Ishwar" given by the priest Mahalsapati (a close
devotee of Sai Baba) during the evening when baba returned to shirdi
after leaving shirdi earlier in his teen days (reference to it could
be found in Sai Charitra). Although the priest Mahalsapti confesses
the fact that he also does not realise him giving the name of "Sai" to
Baba. Baba (honorific) is a word meaning "father; grandfather; old
man; sir" used in Indo-Aryan languages. The appellative thus refers to
Sai Baba as being a "holy father" or "saintly father".[1] His
parentage, birth details, and life before the age of sixteen are
obscure, which has led to a variety of speculations and theories
attempting to explain Sai Baba's origins. In his life and teachings he
tried to reconcile Hinduism and Islam: Sai Baba lived in a mosque
which he called Dwarakamayi, practiced Hindu andMuslim rituals, taught
using words and figures that drew from both traditions and was buried
in a Hindu temple in Shirdi. One of his well known epigrams says of
God: "Sabka Malik Ek " ("One God governs all") which traces its root
to the Bhagavad-Gita and Islam in general, and Sufism, in particular.
He always uttered "Allah Malik" ("God is Master"). He had no love for
perishable things, and was always engrossed in self-realization, which
was his sole concern.

Sai Baba taught a moral code of love, forgiveness, helping others,
charity, contentment, inner peace,and devotion to God and guru. His
teachings combined elements of Hinduism and Islam and tried to achieve
communal harmony between these religions.

Sai Baba observed worship procedures belonging to Hinduism and Islam;
he shunned any kind of regular rituals but allowed the practice of
namaz, chanting of Al-Fatiha, and Qur'an readings at Muslim festival
times.[20] Occasionally reciting the Al-Fatiha himself, Baba also
enjoyed listening to moulu and qawwali accompanied with the tabla and
sarangi twice daily.[21] He also wore clothing reminiscent of a Sufi
fakir. Sai Baba also opposed all sorts of persecutions on religious or
caste background.

Sai Baba was also an opponent of religious orthodoxy - both Hindu and
Muslim.[22] Although Sai Baba himself led the life of an ascetic, he
advised his followers to lead an ordinary family life.

Sai Baba encouraged his devotees to pray, chant God's name and read
holy scriptures - he told Muslims to study the Qur'an, and Hindus,
texts like the Ramayana, Vishnu Sahasranam, Bhagavad Gita (and
commentaries to it)and , Yoga Vasistha.[23] He advised his devotees
and followers to lead a moral life, help others, love every living
being without any discrimination, treat them with love and develop two
important features of character: faith (Shraddha) and patience
(Saburi). He also criticized atheism.[24] In his teachings Sai Baba
emphasized the importance of performing one's duties without
attachment to earthly matters and being ever content regardless of the
situation.

Sai Baba also interpreted the religious texts of both faiths.
According to what the people who stayed with him said and wrote he had
a profound knowledge of them. He explained the meaning of the Hindu
scriptures in the spirit of Advaita Vedanta. This was the character of
his philosophy. It also had numerous elements of bhakti. The three
main Hindu spiritual paths - Bhakti Yoga, Jnana Yoga and Karma Yoga -
were visible in the teachings of Sai Baba.[25] Another example of the
way he combined both faiths is the Hindu name he gave to his mosque,
Dwarakamai.[26]

Sai Baba said that God penetrates everything and lives in every being,
and as well that God is the essence of each of them. He emphasized the
complete oneness of God which was very close to the Islamic tawhid and
the Hindu doctrine, e.g. of the Upanishads. Sai Baba said that the
world and all that the human may give is transient and only God and
his gifts are eternal. Sai Baba also emphasized the importance of
devotion to God - bhakti - and surrender to his will. He also talked
about the need of faith and devotion to one's spiritual preceptor
(guru). He said that everyone was the soul and not the body. He
advised his disciples and followers to overcome the negative features
of character and develop the good ones. He taught them that all fate
was determined by karma.

Sai Baba left no written works. His teachings were oral, typically
short, pithy sayings rather than elaborate discourses. Sai would ask
his followers for money (dakshina), which he would give away to the
poor and other devotees the same day and spend the rest on buying wood
to maintain Dhuni. According to his followers he did it in order to
rid them of greed and material attachment.

Sai encouraged charity and the importance of sharing with others. He
said: "Unless there is some relationship or connection, nobody goes
anywhere. If any men or creatures come to you, do not discourteously
drive them away, but receive them well and treat them with due
respect. Shri Hari (God) will be certainly pleased if you give water
to the thirsty, bread to the hungry, clothes to the naked and your
verandah to strangers for sitting and resting. If anybody wants any
money from you and you are not inclined to give, do not give, but do
not bark at him like a dog."[27] Other favorite sayings of his were:
"Why do you fear when I am here",[28] "He has no beginning... He has
no end."[28] Sai Baba made eleven assurances to his devotees:

Sai Baba of Shirdi (took samadhi in 1918)

Whosoever puts their feet on Shirdi soil, their sufferings will come to an end.
The wretched and miserable will rise to joy and happiness as soon as
they climb the steps of Dwarakamai (Mosque).
I shall be ever active and vigorous even after leaving this earthly body.
My tomb shall bless and speak to the needs of my devotees.
I shall be active and vigorous even from my tomb.
My mortal remains will speak from My tomb.
I am ever living to help and guide all who come to Me, who surrender
to Me and who seek refuge in Me.
If you look at Me, I look at you.
If you cast your burden on Me, I shall surely bear it.
If you seek My advice and help, it shall be given to you at once.
There shall be no want in the house of My devotee.

Sai Baba's millions of disciples, followers and devotees believe that
he had performed many miracles. Some of them were: bilocation,
exorcisms, curing the incurably sick, helping his devotees in need in
a miraculous way, reading the minds of others. Numerous inhabitants of
Shirdi talked about these miracles. Some of them even wrote about them
in books. They talked and wrote about how they (and others) were the
witnesses of his unusual Yogic powers: levitation, entering a state of
Samādhi at wish, even removing his limbs and sticking them back to his
body (Khanda Yoga) or doing the same with his intestines.

Some additional famous examples of such miracles include making the
river Jumna (Yamuna), taking a disease of another, appearing in flesh
and blood after death, appearing beaten when another was beaten,
preventing a mosque from falling down on people, and more.[33]

According to his followers he appeared to them after his death, in
dreams, visions and even in bodily form, when he often gave them
advice. His devotees have many stories and experiences to tell.[34]
Many books have been written on these events.

Hinduism

During Sai Baba's life, the Hindu saint Anandanath of Yewala declared
Sai Baba a spiritual "diamond".[36] Another saint, Gangagir, called
him a "jewel".[36] Sri Beedkar Maharaj greatly revered Sai Baba, and
in 1873, when he met him he bestowed the title Jagadguru upon
him.[37][38] Sai Baba was also greatly respected by Vasudevananda
Saraswati (known as Tembye Swami).[39] Sai of Shirdi was also revered
by a group of Shaivicyogis, to which he belonged, known as the
Nath-Panchayat.[40]

[edit]Other religions

Sai Baba is considered a Pir by some Sufi groups. Meher Baba declared
Baba to be a Qutub-e-Irshad - the highest of the five Qutubs, "Master
of the Universe".[41] Baba is also worshipped by prominent
Zoroastrians such as Nanabhoy Palkhivala and Homi Bhabha, and has been
cited as the most popular non-Zoroastrian religious figure attracting
the attention of Zoroastrians.

Source: From Wikipedia

Posted via email from Gulsha Fawzia Begum